My Plan To Fix Mitsubishi

"Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire" (arch-duke-maxyenko) 03/11/2014 at 10:27 • Filed to: Mitsubishi

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Look, Mitsubishi Automobiles is pictured above. It's a dried up, rusted out, dead brand. There is only one way to save it.

Scuttle the ship. Abandon the world market and become JDM only. Then fanbois will come out of the wood work and beg for their return. Make a new Evo and watch the world clamor for it, but, ignore them for one whole generation. Their demand will incubate for years and people will forget how bad their cars were.

Then, make a whole new, from ground up, product line and storm the beachheads of the different markets. Then people will snap them up and Mitsubishi will be successful. However, they must not rest on their laurels and let the product grow stale, as this is what lead them down the path that they are currently traversing.

Frank Grimes > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 03/11/2014 at 10:30

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My plan would be to take the blue prints from a galant Vr4 and just shove them into the factories robot device and start making new ones. updated as needed but simple and none of the bullcrap that new cars have and also weigh less that 40 billion tons.

bob and john > Frank Grimes 03/11/2014 at 10:32

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updated

none of the bull crap that makes other cars weigh 40 billion tons

choose one. a LOT of that bull crap is safety related. which is something that has to be updated or else the thing wouldnt sell

DuckDraper > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 03/11/2014 at 10:32

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Wow this is pretty devious but ingenious. Poor DSM I feel sorry for them. They should make another Starion.

RacecaR > Frank Grimes 03/11/2014 at 10:35

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I still think they shot themselves in the foot (many times actually), when they did not offer the later gen GVR4s here in the US. A twin turbo V6 powered AWD sedan? Yes please!!

Lumpy44, Proprietor Of Fine Gif > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 03/11/2014 at 10:40

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I feel they could just make crazy awesome Lancers and nothing else in North America and make the rest of the models in Japan. Just me though.

Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire > Lumpy44, Proprietor Of Fine Gif 03/11/2014 at 10:41

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No. They must die in order to be reborn.

Mattbob > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 03/11/2014 at 10:44

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Bonus points for you sir because I read that in his voice.

Lumpy44, Proprietor Of Fine Gif > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 03/11/2014 at 10:48

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Viking funeral!!!

Frank Grimes > RacecaR 03/11/2014 at 10:58

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I agree. I like the looks of those cars for some reason.

Dis right?

They also need to bring the legnum here...bastards.

and every car I would play in GT2 and could not buy here in the USA.

Frank Grimes > bob and john 03/11/2014 at 11:08

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yeah but...I know! It just sucks. I could do without a fat looking car 20" wheels leather lazy boy seats 43 speakers and 140500 watts of power navigation etc.

willkinton247 > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 03/11/2014 at 11:17

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It's very interesting that you chose a ship as the metaphor. Mitsubishi's auto division pales in comparison to their marine propulsion division.

This is also why they don't put much effort into their cars... It's only a small slice of the pie for them.

RacecaR > Frank Grimes 03/11/2014 at 11:28

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Yup, that's it. I actually have the 6A13TT engine from one of those sitting in my garage. I bought it off of a guy who had it in his 5th gen Mirage sedan. I was planning on putting it in my 5th gen Mirage sedan, but never got around to it. Working on getting it out of my garage as we speak, back to the guy I got it from.

RacecaR > Frank Grimes 03/11/2014 at 11:29

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Oh and the Legnum...oh how I want one, especially in VR4 trim. So bad ass!

bob and john > Frank Grimes 03/11/2014 at 15:11

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that is also true. but thats not where most of the weight is, sadly

Frank Grimes > bob and john 03/11/2014 at 15:46

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yes I know.